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What kind of love do I had?
Since we together 3 years,I thought of you love me more…
Pure illusion! False perception!
No matter how, I have to accept the fact that I love you more than you love me…
I willing to giv up of everythings just because of you….
I ever sacrifice lots of things in order to fulfill whatever you want or wish.
[I think you know what I mean]
Getting your love isn’t worth the sacrifice of my principles?
Worth! Valuable! Because I LOVE YOU!
Do you love me?? How deep you love me??
What kind of love you can give me??
Until you said those kind of words??
[ I miss you everydays.
Just, I unable call and msg you
each time I think of you.
EXPENSIVE, you know? ]
You know what are you talking about??
From sg call to msia is more cheapper than miri call to btu??
20sen per msg from sg to msia is more cheapper than 1sen per msg in msia area??
What you said HURT me lots!!
But, I just accept what you said.
My tears dropped like stream. [ Do you ever know?? ]
I consoled myself with the thought that you haven’t get any job at miri.
You don’t have any income. [ Other reasons else]
As your girlfriend, I should understand your situation.
On the other hands,I already do preparation that we wont meet for years.
I wont ask for any reasons or excuses.
I understand you.
No matter i want or not, I forced to do so, that’s UNDERSTAND YOU!
No choices for me.
Nothing I can do either more than that.
Is that valuable for me??
I duno.
As long as you happy.
Because I love you.Honestly, you really love me??Or we oledi no love at all??Our relationship continue by wat??Love??Or we just use to it oledi??because of 3 years relationship??Who can tell me??
Pra-STPM finish liaw...I can sleep as many hours as i wan...I can throw my books by side for a while...I can feel that i'm FREE!Beside that, i feel nervous too...My real STPM will coming soon...The exam which decides my future...Wow... It sounds interesting n challenging...Though i will having one week of holidays,i still nid to study n do revision...Meaningless holidays... Haiz...Wat to do? Study is the job of students...Anyway,i will choose one dayVisit my malay classmates' houses...Together with my geng~Hehe... ^^Disappointed...Hubby unable accompany me...SOB SOB ='(
Arrgh! Damn bad mood!I'm start complaning this and that from early in the morning til nite...Never stop it...Bla bla like an old woman...Even my mom cant stand for me too...Am i crazy???Maybe....STRESS...Maybe...Aunty is coming...
Hubby is back M'sia...When i knew it,i felt very happy...I miss him so so so so much...But i cant even meet with him...He is stay at Miri...--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--Since he is back, we keep argue...Duno why... I feel that,Though now our distance is closeBut i feel tat it is far thanmsia n sg...WHY???--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--I feel tat he is different with "he" at sg...While he was at sg,he will find me...Many times per day eveninternational call is expensive per minutes...Now,we are in msia area...He seldom find me...SELDOM...How come???--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--Can anyone tell me??Or he only remember me while he is lonely at sg??Haiz~ Really headache...If like tat, i hope he stay at sg...At least he will remember me...--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--No matter where is he,there is no benefits for me...No matter where is he,we still far apart...No matter where is he,i still alone n lonely...No matter where is he,he know nothing bout me...No matter where is he,i know nothing bout him...No matter where is he,i nid to face my life too...Haiz...--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--Maybe both of us dun understandwhat is thinking in each mind...Maybe this is de consequency ofLESS COMMUNICATION !!!!!
Just finish chating with my hubby through msn...Tomolo is my first day of Pra-STPM...This time i nid struggle hard to pass my PA2...PA is the most important subject...I scare with my history too...Since i got low marks for it in my August exam...51%I must not repeat the same mistake again...I will be more careful to read the question...Plus i even challenge my classmate,Bonnywho get higher mark in history=>86% ...Haiz... Now a bit regret to challenge him...Jia you jia you jia you...
Today i receive msg from dear hubby...Poor hubby... He is unhappy ...I duno how to help him...I dun even can stay by his side while he is upset...Lao gong, i'm very very sorry... ='(I ask him back to Bintulu,but he refuse to do so...Am i wrong for letting you work at singapore?I really duno... haiz~~Anyway,gambateh lao gong...Muakssss~~
Yesterday hubby sent me a msg that he had sent to his ex...Those are the content:[I'm not as good as you think,so dun find me again.
I dun wan to lie you. Stay your life well,you will find
a better guy in your future. Thanks for let me knew
that i grow up. Actually i got fiancee oledi. I cant n
unable to own you two at same times. I'm sorry]
Adeline n Jaclyn said that he wont betray me....So I nid not be worry... Seems that my friends all support him.. ^^After hubby went to Singapore,he really changed a lotz..He learned to care my feeling...He learned to be honest...Thanks cz you really care for me...So i believe him,though we far apart...As how he believe me...Hope our love will last forever...[FOREVER LOVE]
I had been chase by a guy lately...I ever told the guy tat i got a boyfriend...Why he still wan to treat me well...yet i treat him CRUEL since i know he fell in love to me...I keep ignore him...
I know he is good...But, i CANT n WONT accept him...I really feel sorry about him...He is not suitable for me.No one can seperate hubby n me!3 years of relationship...Sometimes my hubby will make me unhappy,I will feel down...Sad...... Cry......I'm sure...Not only me...My hubby too...Each couple sure got arguments, rite?That's the way we communicate...Even though we far apart,we still love each others very much...I wont betray him...And please dun critic my hubby is betrayal...The case already pass...I already forgive him...He promise wont do it again...I believe him ...Coz, I love him ...
Last few days,hubby called me...He said there is something to tell me..." My ex-girlfriend found me...she hope we can be together again..."I felt wanna cry after i listen this news...Why this could happened?He said he treat me as his wife,He should tell me about it...He dun hope to hide anythings from me...I'm glad he think so...But,i not tat generous...I care tat his ex keep calling him...That's my hubby,i dun wan share with others...Although i told him tat i dun worry...He dun even know my worry in my deep deep heart...I dun wan he comunicate with his ex...I dun like his ex find him...Before is she dump him de,why now wan to come back?He say he love me very much,ask me dun think too much...I kinda of think too much and sensitive...I dun hope this relationship let me feel stress...Otherwise i will give up...My hubby said i stupid...Anyway, i dun hope my hubby betray me...NO!I'm so scare...wat should i do while facing this prob?Anyone can teach me??
