不开心.

地球不会因为任何人而停止旋转...

时间不会因为任何人而停止走动...

也许,

人类也不应该因为一些人而停下脚步...

不应该因为害怕失去而难过...

越在乎一个人,一件事...

只会让自己更容易失去...

就好象...

紧握住的沙...


近来发生了很多事情,

让我觉得很不开心...很累...很难过...

甚至很想要找个地洞把自己藏起来...

因为我再也没有可以倾诉的对象了...

我又打回原形了...

我...是...一...个...人...!

我...是...孤...独...的...！

随着地球的旋转,时间的流逝...


许多的人,事物都在不停的进化与改变...

不由得我不相信与接受...

因为我也是改变着的其中一个人...

把自己藏起来是最好的方法...

说难听一点,是遇到问题不愿意去解决...

只知道说"我不知道..."

我真的真的不知道!


你们还是以前的你们吗???

我们还会像以前那样吗???

还是...

我们回不到过去了...


可是,

我真的很在乎你们...

尤其是你!

考完试了.

艰难的日子终于熬过了...
考试的日子真的是度日如年啊!
接下来,就要收拾行李回家咯...
但是,没有特别的兴奋与期待...
因为,我没有想要留下来...
也没有想回去...

今天带着不是很开心的心情去考试...
[最后一张考卷=>sukan bicycle]
没想到,不到一个小时我就出来了...
奇迹哦! *我也这么觉得*

本来考试前有很多去玩耍的计划的...
还很兴奋呢!
但是,当真的考完了,
却没有想象中的那样好心情...

虽然如此,
我们还是去了UMS大学生最爱去的地方...
[One Borneo Hypermall]
我们漫无目地的随便逛逛...

结果,我们去了爱滋病展览...
我们亲身体验了病患所历练的一切...
感觉还挺不错...
让我很有感触...
顿时还想起当初我在柬埔寨所历经的一切...

[我们爱滋病的检验报告:

模渝患上了,我平安无事...]

*一切是展览效果*

我希望这些病患不要因此而感到气馁...

难过...觉得被社会唾弃...

真心的祝福他们...

希望他们继续努力加油...

为了明天的到来而努力生存下去!

我也会好好的努力活下去!'

加油!!!

An update- Feelings.

Yes,i din update my blog for few months...

Now let me have some update...

Pour out everythings... ... which:

not good.

not happy.

not comfortable.

Feel like:

myself is not suitable for this world...

everythings are difficult for me...

reluctant to stay here...

Not suitable to have:

love...

family...

friends...

What happened with me?

Lately mood damn upset...

I also dunno...

If someone know,plz tel me...

university life.

University life......
For me is damn like hell....
There are too many assignments for me!
None stop!!!
I dun even have enough time to have my rest...

And,there is always less bus for us....
Just like today i need to wait for almost two hours...
2 HOURS... Then i get my bus to library...

Soooooo....... SUFFER!!!
Get me back home!

无奈.

我还是很不习惯这里的生活......

什么事情都觉得很难很难...

甚至有时觉得自己被欺负...

"一粒米养百种人"说的很对...

在这里遇到各种各样的人...

总觉得自己很倒霉...

很常都要走路没巴士坐....

看着朋友一个个的先回家...

剩下自己,就觉得很难过...

你,是我最需要的人...

却在这时与我吵架...

大家都不愿意找对方...

就只因为我没在你身边而觉得自己很痛苦...

难道我就好过吗?

不痛苦吗?

难道上大学是一种错...?一种罪吗...?

我只是想试试看...

虽然我知道我做不来,但我还是想试试看...

可是我试的很辛苦...

我很累...

冲凉的时候,眼泪跟着洗澡水一起流下...

我分不清泪水与水...

只知道我已很努力在撑着...

真不知道自己到底是怎么了...

My new life.

I had been to Sabah for one week...
Life in university is not as easy as i think...
I still not used to it...
Many things i nid to do by myself....
Especially i nid to wash my clothes myself...
Sometimes i reli miss my mom lo....
Wana to eat wat she always cook...
Anyway,i think life at home with family n life at university with roomates is definitely different...
My home always is the best...

Bad day again.

I really hate to stay at school...
Another case happened on me again...

Mr Chin find me today...
He told me tat afternoon session's teacher said i crushed her car...
Walau,how come i crushed others car i also dunno...

Tat teacher really fierce...
She keep on asking me why i wan crushed her car?
She just bought the car two months ago...
I swear i din crushed her car...
We dunno each others,why i wan do so??
Why she wan to slander me??
Plus if i got do so,sure i will admit...
Plz dun bully me cz i still young or look a bit stupid...

I hate the feeling of being defamed...
I HATE IT!
Plz dun bully me just because i'm a temporarily teacher...
I got feelings too...

Wat i learn from dis incident is world is damn complicated,no matter where you are...

Kuching's trip

Yeah yeah~
I'm at kuching...
Went to Riverside Hotel for interview...
(UMS-Tourism course)
I think i spoilt my interview...
Dunno la~

1st time wear baju kurung... is tat suitable for me?

Pellisthing wit me...

inside Riverside Hotel...

waterfront of riverside...

Juliana wit me...

Anyway,thanks juliana for bring us visit many place of Kuching...
We enjoy the shopping also...

Bad day

Today meet wit a crazy teacher...
She scold me loudly in front of many students...
All because my student against her instruction...
I feel a bit "wu gu".......
Just stand there let her scold me...
And help my student apologise to her...
Damn ashamed....
She never give me face as a teacher...


p/s:go kuching tonite for interview...

Stop bully us!

身为一个大人...
你们不但没有尽到责任帮忙后辈...
没有指导后辈...
反而暗地里作弄,欺负我们...
这样一来你们很快乐吗?

嘴巴上像是给予指导帮助我们...
实际上,是将我们推想"死亡"之门...
让我们闯祸...
让我深深明白什么是笑里藏刀!

Bad mood.

I dunno wat happened to me...
Not even know wat the main cause...
Just felt moody...

Who should i share my bad mood wit??
Who should i talk wit??
WHO?
I dunno!

Nobody will understand me!
Yet i also nt understand wit myself!

Again.

Why keep argue on same topic??
I just wana further my study...
But not going to leave you...
Dun think so much...

I further study is for our own good...
I wan to see n know more things...
I know u will back to your place...
This would be better for you...
Can save money...
Try think on our future...

Dun worry...
I will be back...
Believe on our relationship...

Keep argue just make me feel annoying...
Make our relationship getting worst niah...
Dun u feel tired while we argue?

I know de reason u act so...
I really understand wat u thinking now...
But,...
STOP ARGUE!
STOP COOL-WAR!!

Argue again.

Arguements again...
Damn hate it...
Wat caused for arguements?

I went to school early in the morning...
Went back home around 6pm...
Cz meeting with our Pengetua,Mr Ling...
Damn tired dy...
Din sleep well for almost a week...

Tot of rest a while...
U called me suddenly...
Ask me:" you die til where?"
Lolz...
Made my mood getting bad...

Why our relationship getting worst?
Is tat cz of we together for 4 years?
Sometimes when we argue,
i can felt tat thr is no more strong feelings towards you...
Different like before...
WHY?

Dunno...

Fake face.

Is there any appearance of true friends?
Wat is the meaning of "true" friends?
I dunno...[tell me if u know]

Stop show-off in front me!
Stop bla-ing in front me!

I HATE IT!

Huh!

Hard-make-decision.

"Will you enter university?"
"Do you hope it?"
"No."
"Why?"
"Scare you will leave me."
"... ... ..."

Dear,now i'm given chance to further study...
I dun hope to waste the chance...
There only once n last chance for me in life...
Will you support me if i go?
Or will you just wana break up?

Is hard for me to make a decision.

Do you know...
Loving you is just like breathing,
how could i stop it?

love vs study = dunno!

I know you start to worry bout me...
Easily get mad at me...
When face to face with me,
you be so gentle to me...

Who can tell me how n wat to do?

坏心情.

拜六那天我们争吵了...
你连续对我说分手...要我离开你...
不知你是真心或故意...
撇开争吵的原因...
我选择离开...

在那之前,
我已经很烦恼...
爱情与面包...
该做何选择?
我不想放弃继续升学的机会...
更不想因此失去你...

我想鱼与熊掌兼得...
我知道 -不可能.

曾经问过你:
"如果我去读书,你因为孤单而爱上别人,
那我该怎么办?"
你说:
"那是你的选择,怨不得别人."

万箭刺入我脆弱的心... ='(

你又说:
"我整天都做工,休息天就在家打game...
基本上,没有什么可能...会因为孤单而爱
上别人应该是你吧?"
我回答说:
"我不知道...也许吧..."

明天就是答案公布的日子...
一切将会揭晓...

抉择.

自那天去了education fair...
我发现了一个很有趣的课程...
Nautical studies (航海学)

没有人支持我去读...
都说航海不是我想象中的那样简单...
况且又是常年生活在船上...
更加不适合女生...
尤其是结婚后无法兼顾家庭...

我不确定自己是否真的有兴趣...
一旦我选择了航海学...
一切都会变得不一样了...
我将会失去我现在所拥有的一切...
花费在form6的时间更是白费了...

我应该好好冷静想想自己要的是什么...
而不是别人要我做什么!
我的前途让我自己决定,好吗?

我怎么了?

这是否就是我所要的生活...?
老师的工作会不会不适合我?
我开始怀疑自己...
甚至自己的能力...
现在的一切一切...
跟我想象中的天差地远...

学生的叛逆...
办公室的人与事...
让我无法招架...
现实世界就是如此...
根本无法与所想象的比较...

想到我将来所要踏进的社会...
是如此的现实与残酷...
才发现我的天真...懦弱...
现在所面对的只是小小的挫折,
我已开始质疑自己...
那未来呢?

谁能教教我...??

Meaningless valentine's day.

2009年,我们度过了第4次的情人节...
今年,我过得既没意义又不开心...
就在214当天的11:59PM,
你让我流下最珍贵的眼泪...

原本我对今年的情人节,
不抱有任何期待与渴望...
就因为你在213说214会带我出去...
让我重燃希望...
还以为会有什么惊喜...
结果,真的是有惊无喜...

你不但没有送我礼物...
也没有烛光晚餐...
这些都还好...
[我了解我们的状况]
就连最基本的祝福都没有对我说...
祝福是不需要一分一毫...
需要的只是你的真心与诚意...
一句祝福胜过千言万语...

最可恶的是,
你会说214带我出去...
并不是因为情人节...而是...
约了朋友吃沙爹...[顺便带我,是吗?]
我的脸色顿时沉重...
绝对不是我小气...
因为是情人节,所以我在意...
虽然你的朋友后来没发信息来说join...
但心情被破坏就是被破坏了...

并非我发小姐脾气...
也不是非要去吃沙爹...
是为什么情人节要带你的朋友?!
最起码,先问我的意见先...

也许,是我们在一起太久了...
太常碰面黏在一起...
让你觉得情人节跟平时一样...
[因为我也有同感]
会不会因为这样,让我们不懂得珍惜对方?

[失去了才知道拥有的可贵]
真爱难寻...
要找到互相喜欢的...
更是艰难...
拥有了,就珍惜对方...
别等到失去了...
才来后悔...

愤怒!

今天...发生很多不愉快的事情...
我很:
难过...
失望...
伤心...
无助...
愤怒...

今早,我Form4H的学生...
让我流下了眼泪...
气愤的眼泪...
为什么:
上课不要好好上?
功课不要做?
都在说话聊天?
要ponteng?
你们可知道,老师准备了那么有趣的课...
带着愉快的心情准备教你们...
你们却面不改色吵了一节半...

我Form3Q的学生...
我点名时都在班上...
趁我在抄练习在黑板,偷跑出去...
有些的却在班上跑来跑去...
就在我责问一名同学为何没带课本时,
有另一名学生竟然用镜子偷窥我裙底...
还有一群学生湊热闹...
简直太过分了!
气得我跑去报告MR CHIN...

回到家跟家人说,没有任何人有在听...
他们没有任何反应...
就跟当年我六年级发生那件事一样...
后来,我学会...自己面对与承担自己的问题...
没有人会在乎我发生了什么事情...
从小到大都是这样...