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Why you all like to critic my hubby??Please stop it...Dont judge the book by it's cover...You keep on complaining bout it,make me so stress...make me tired...You make me wanna run away from you...Come on,nobody is perfect...I know hubby is poor...He wont forever no money...Just, now is his critical time...Everythings will pass soon...He treat me well... More than you treat me...Please,money is not everythings...Although we nid money to buy everythings...[but not include relationship]I also dun like talk rude towards you...Just i cant stand for you...I hate ur loud voice, bli bla-ing...Talk nicely...Comunicate nicely...Everythings would be going better...
Yesterday is Ong Hui's birthday...
She celebrate her birthday at "hai xiang" restaurant...
Siew Ping and i chose her present til 45 minutes...
She force to kiss with her boyfriend mouth with mouth...
They looks so sweet...
Her boyfriend treat her well...
I did many stupid things last nite...
Damn funny...
I ate till my rice "fly" to other body...
Ate my cake til dunno why the cream stick on my feet...
Many else lo...
Haiz.... Damn paiseh~
Anyway,i enjoy myself tat nite...
All of her friends so friendly...
Happy birthday, birthday gal~*Hope my hubby will help me celebrate my birthday like tat oh...^^
I'm feeling unwell for few days...Flu, cough, fever, difficult to breath...And also heart-sick...[there something happened between my gang with me]Wanna STPM liaw......There still many things happened make me unable focus on my study...I dunno wat happened with u all...I just only can took it as challenge...[ 意志坚定,才能不为环境左右,目标远大,才能担负度众事业 ]May God bless me...Let me pass my STPM...Let me get in univercity...Let wat i learned,come out at exam...I'm not noob kia as you people think...
Just now bring my sis go out to buy her contact lenses...While i driving,there got a stupid adult who no law...He drove his car in de middle of road...Even sometimes drove fast ,somestimes drove slow...Nearly knock down my car...WTF...I "hon" him...U know wat he do??He slow down his car...And show me his "jari tengah"...Yet is his fault...Such a crazy man...Zzzzzzz......If dunno how to drive, plz dun drive on the road...
What is going on???My gang changed into different altitude... [ i think so]I talked with them,they just ans it...No more than that...One of them...I found that the ans that she wrote on her paper was wrong...So, i corrected her mistake...You know wat she ans me???" Just one mistake,why you wan bising-bising there?"I told her nicely,wat i get from her finally??This make me anger...Why she wan scold me??This hurt my heart...One of them again...Seldom talk to me...Go toilet, go canteen buy food......Wont ask me wan go or not...Just go herself with the one above...Leave me alone...If i do sth make you ppl dun happy,Plz just tell...Dun act like this...I hate it...Cz influence my mood...OK???
Yesterday damn down...Big cried... Shouted...Cut my hand...Cant even cool myself down...Even called hubby,he dun even wan to hiew me...Hang up my phone...He hate my negative thinking...Lolz...I hate myself too...Easily influence by others...I'm feel happy n thankful...At least still got you concern me, adeline...
Anyway i'm getting better today...But, disgusting language come out from ur mouth again...[ no matter how hard you tried,you wont be better than your brother...bla bla bla bla and so on]Hurt me once again...Haih~I really worry what you said will come true...You give me lotz of stress...W-H-Y???
I hate you all...Why there is no ones by my side when i'm down??Can anyone gives me support n encouragement??Who else willing listening to me talking craps??Please, i just need a...Listener...Supporter...No much than that...Only loneliness has always been a friend of mine...No ones know what is thinking in my deep deep heart...Always i cried lonely at the corner...No ones know bout it...It is meaningless for me to continue my life...I feel like ending my life...Can i??
I'm not needed for this world...Nobody like me ,care me, love me...[ hubby,family,friends]I'm just transparent for you allI really getting more sick already...I'm incurable...Just let me end up my life......That would be the better way for me...to release my stress...
This week, i'm not in mood...Why you want to treat me as kid??Why cant i get the freedom??I wanna 20 years old liaw...Please...set me free...Dun call me n scold me each time i went out...Make me loss of face...I just went out play computer games...With my hubby...What i done,you all denied...Even i study from midnite til morning...You scolded...Said me lazy... Only know sleep niah...WHY???You hate me izzit??Then why u give birth to me??I din ask you give birth to me!I HATE YOU, you know??I back home at 10pm...You locked me outside the gate...Did you ever think of my feeling outside de gate??Helpless.... Loneliness...Dun you scare sth will happened to me??Or you wan me run away from house??Just say!!!!!!
Finally,my computer can on9 already...Lately,dunno why my computer unable on9...Yet the internet connection is stable n connected...The computer is really sot sot de...Hope this problem dun repeat again...
Hubby bak miri le...Cz he just come for interview job lo...Haiz...Only meet hubby twice niah...Also for few hours niah...My mom nt allow me go out with hubby too...She keep scold him why dun want workbut bak btu...useless... disturb me study lo...Bla bla bla...I hate her say like tat...She knw nothing but keep complain!!
Yeah~ Hubby come btu visit me...Also for searching temporary job...When i saw hubby, my heart feel sweet sweet oh...Long times din meet each others lo... [4 months]Feeling so warm when hug hug my hubby...Muaksss~ I love him very very much...I accompany him to interview two jobs...The salary which offers by the company really low ler...Only rm1000... [yet hubby gt exp]Today i feel happy...Feel excited too...Like the moment 1st dating with hubby...Paiseh~ ^^
The necklace is....Valentines' day's present...1st present that i received from hubby...BREAK into two parts...The necklace is represent to a love of lasting significance... [endless love]Shit!!!Why would this happened??I like the necklace very very much...I wear it for 3 years!!!WHY??Breakage necklace...What does this case mean???Relationship between my hubby n me will end soon??I dun wan this kind of silly things happened!Though you asked me not to think too much...BUT......Superstition thinking makes me think much...I'm heartsick now!!!Why i damn noob break the necklace??FUCKING NOOB!!!Although you said buy new de...I think you angry me, right??Hubby,i'm so sorry...Din protect ur gift nicely...I'M SORRY!
Disgusting language came out from your mouth... [unthinkable]Heart-broken...Eyes fill with tears...You are unsatisfactorily of me...You blame...@ i keep avoid from engagement.@ i dun wan change my handphone number.@i always go out with my friends.@i never listen to what you said.Engagement, I am too young to engage...I cant feel my importance in your heart...so, i dun wan agree the engagement impulsively...I cant feel a feeling of safeness from you...cz, you dun have a stable job & an income...I need a dreamlike & unforgetable engagement & wedding dinner...All of this make me undecideable...You know???[Maybe is my own problem, you should know]You never propose marriage formally too...At least give me a romantic proposal... [ once in my life]Flowers, ring, kneel down (show sincerity), and so on...I do listen to what you say...I know you worry about me,especially when i go out...Dun you think i should have some of my freedom?Believe me,i can protect myself...I wont do something wrong back of you...Disgusting language already leave a scar in our heart...What is said cannot be unsaid...Are we suitable to each others??Should we arm in arm to face our future??We should think of this matter before we decide our engagement...Regretable engagement shouldn't allowed...
What you had giving up for friends, wont appreciate by them...When you need help, there are many excuses for them...They all forget you ever give them a hands...They will just think of you when they need you...when they are boring...In front of them, maybe you just a clown...Make fun for them...Entertain them...They tot of you are idiot...[ Maybe. The answer is with them]Always they neglected you...Your appearance maybe is transparent...Even you are sit beside with them...Loneliness would been my loyal friend...No matter how i tried hard, i cant get in u people gang...True friends??? Yes or no??I duno...Maybe our tone not same...
What kind of love do I had?
Since we together 3 years,I thought of you love me more…
Pure illusion! False perception!
No matter how, I have to accept the fact that I love you more than you love me…
I willing to giv up of everythings just because of you….
I ever sacrifice lots of things in order to fulfill whatever you want or wish.
[I think you know what I mean]
Getting your love isn’t worth the sacrifice of my principles?
Worth! Valuable! Because I LOVE YOU!
Do you love me?? How deep you love me??
What kind of love you can give me??
Until you said those kind of words??
[ I miss you everydays.
Just, I unable call and msg you
each time I think of you.
EXPENSIVE, you know? ]
You know what are you talking about??
From sg call to msia is more cheapper than miri call to btu??
20sen per msg from sg to msia is more cheapper than 1sen per msg in msia area??
What you said HURT me lots!!
But, I just accept what you said.
My tears dropped like stream. [ Do you ever know?? ]
I consoled myself with the thought that you haven’t get any job at miri.
You don’t have any income. [ Other reasons else]
As your girlfriend, I should understand your situation.
On the other hands,I already do preparation that we wont meet for years.
I wont ask for any reasons or excuses.
I understand you.
No matter i want or not, I forced to do so, that’s UNDERSTAND YOU!
No choices for me.
Nothing I can do either more than that.
Is that valuable for me??
I duno.
As long as you happy.
Because I love you.Honestly, you really love me??Or we oledi no love at all??Our relationship continue by wat??Love??Or we just use to it oledi??because of 3 years relationship??Who can tell me??
Pra-STPM finish liaw...I can sleep as many hours as i wan...I can throw my books by side for a while...I can feel that i'm FREE!Beside that, i feel nervous too...My real STPM will coming soon...The exam which decides my future...Wow... It sounds interesting n challenging...Though i will having one week of holidays,i still nid to study n do revision...Meaningless holidays... Haiz...Wat to do? Study is the job of students...Anyway,i will choose one dayVisit my malay classmates' houses...Together with my geng~Hehe... ^^Disappointed...Hubby unable accompany me...SOB SOB ='(
Arrgh! Damn bad mood!I'm start complaning this and that from early in the morning til nite...Never stop it...Bla bla like an old woman...Even my mom cant stand for me too...Am i crazy???Maybe....STRESS...Maybe...Aunty is coming...
Hubby is back M'sia...When i knew it,i felt very happy...I miss him so so so so much...But i cant even meet with him...He is stay at Miri...--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--Since he is back, we keep argue...Duno why... I feel that,Though now our distance is closeBut i feel tat it is far thanmsia n sg...WHY???--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--I feel tat he is different with "he" at sg...While he was at sg,he will find me...Many times per day eveninternational call is expensive per minutes...Now,we are in msia area...He seldom find me...SELDOM...How come???--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--Can anyone tell me??Or he only remember me while he is lonely at sg??Haiz~ Really headache...If like tat, i hope he stay at sg...At least he will remember me...--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--No matter where is he,there is no benefits for me...No matter where is he,we still far apart...No matter where is he,i still alone n lonely...No matter where is he,he know nothing bout me...No matter where is he,i know nothing bout him...No matter where is he,i nid to face my life too...Haiz...--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--...--Maybe both of us dun understandwhat is thinking in each mind...Maybe this is de consequency ofLESS COMMUNICATION !!!!!
Just finish chating with my hubby through msn...Tomolo is my first day of Pra-STPM...This time i nid struggle hard to pass my PA2...PA is the most important subject...I scare with my history too...Since i got low marks for it in my August exam...51%I must not repeat the same mistake again...I will be more careful to read the question...Plus i even challenge my classmate,Bonnywho get higher mark in history=>86% ...Haiz... Now a bit regret to challenge him...Jia you jia you jia you...
Today i receive msg from dear hubby...Poor hubby... He is unhappy ...I duno how to help him...I dun even can stay by his side while he is upset...Lao gong, i'm very very sorry... ='(I ask him back to Bintulu,but he refuse to do so...Am i wrong for letting you work at singapore?I really duno... haiz~~Anyway,gambateh lao gong...Muakssss~~
